By Dr Ree Boddé

Internationally there is growing awareness that faith communities are well placed for reducing the likelihood of violence against women from occurring in the first place. Their focus on spiritual well-being and pastoral care creates a natural link to the goals of health promotion and primary prevention. 

In Australia, one in three women will be the subject of violence in her lifetime. Research undertaken by VicHealth shows that those at greatest risk are women ages 15 to 44; in fact, women in this age range are more at risk from domestic violence than they are from smoking and obesity.

Children are also impacted by domestic violence and the damage can last a life time – they are the ones who live in fear of violence occurring every-day. Who tiptoe around the house – just in case. Who don't argue with or answer back to their parents like normal children – just in case. Who then grow up thinking it is OK to assault women. Or to be assaulted.

Until recently, the faith response in Australia to the epidemic of violence against women has been learning how to respond to what is already happening, or how to work with men or women who know their circumstances and behaviours need to change. Such responses to violence against women continue to play a crucial role in societies' overall response to violence but they do not tackle the deeper reasons why this violence occurs.

Forty years of scholarship have generated important insights regarding the root causes of violence toward women. The three primary causes identified by the lived experience of women who live with men who beat them and research are: unequal power relations between men and women, rigid or narrow gender stereotypes of women and men and the tolerance of violence in popular culture. The promotion of equal and respectful attitudes are key strategies used to prevent violence against women.

In October 2011 the Synod of the Anglican Diocese of Melbourne in Victoria, Australia, endorsed its strategic policy to prevent violence against women.

The Most Revd Dr Philip Freier, Archbishop of Melbourne said recently “the statistics regarding violence against women are staggering. This is in a real sense a symptom of a social, moral and spiritual failure and we have an obligation to respond. Silence and indifference are not options in the midst of such pain and suffering.”

Archbishop Freier says however, that: “Violence against women is not in the DNA of men but learned behaviour. The real work of Christian faith is in demonstrating love and respect within our families, neighborhoods and communities. Young people look to the adults around them for guidance and role modeling. If an adult treats a young person with consideration, they will learn from this positive experience and will be able to build respectful relationships in the future."

In 2012, I was appointed as Program Director to implement Promoting Equal and Respectful Relationships, a violence prevention program of the Anglican Diocese of Melbourne.

Violence against women is a learned behavior. This is the core message of Promoting Equal and Respectful Relationships and is the reason for our optimism – because if violence is a learned behavior then it can be unlearned.

Resource materials have been developed to support Anglican leadership in this important work.

The training component of Promoting Equal and Respectful Relationships creates the space for discussion and reflection about the impact of violence against women as well as the social norms or attitudes that condone or excuse violence against women. For example, ‘that a man is superior to woman and has a right to assert control’ or, that ‘a man is the head of the household’, ‘that girls are worth less than boys;’ that a man has a right to physically discipline a woman for incorrect behaviour’, and so on.

We also know that these attitudes and behaviours are reinforced by popular culture. For example the R & B singer Chris Brown’s disturbing new neck tatoo of a badly beaten women that bears a striking resemblance to his ex-girlfriend Rhianna whom he pleaded guilty of assaulting in 2009. Or last month's competition by the Zoo Weekly men's magazine to find Australia Hottest Asylum Seeker with the opportunity for a free photoshoot. ‘Are you a refugee not even the immigration minister could refuse,’ is the question the magazine adds.

Our short training courses are designed to also build the skills of Anglican leaders in challenging attitudes that normalise violence against women. For example, how do I respond to:

‘the problem is not really violence against women; that women are just as violent as men?

What do I say to: ‘if women really wanted to leave a violent relationship they would’?

Or to: ‘men who abuse are violent because they cannot control their frustration and anger.’

How do I respond if male friends, relatives or people within my community insult or attack women? Do I look the other way or speak up?

As we also know it is not simply a case of changing attitudes at an individual level. Violence against women needs also to be addressed at a societal and institutional level.

Ellen Pence and Michael Paymar, authors of Education Groups for Men who Batter put it like this:

Violence is a logical outcome of relationships of dominance and inequality – relationships shaped not simply by the personal choices or desires of some men to [dominate] their wives but by how we, as a society, construct social and economic relationships between men and women and within marriage (or intimate domestic relationships) and families. Our task is to understand how our response to violence creates a climate of intolerance or acceptance to the force used in intimate relationships.

Preventing violence against women in our society, starts with the way we raise our children and future generations. The key lies in raising our children in an environment filled with love and respect.

Preventing violence against women also lies in confronting the social norms and practices at a cultural and institutional level that regulate daily life, such as, male entitlement to sex and services from women, discrimination against women in the workplace, or poor implementation of laws resulting in no sanctions for perpetrators.

To conclude, while laws are a necessary first step and foundation for preventing violence against women, a greater focus on attitudes is also needed to achieve a change in the level of violence. Ending violence against women is not only a moral and legal imperative; it is essential for building fair societies in which women and men have the opportunity to flourish.

Dr Ree Boddé is a Senior Partner and Researcher at Kempster Consultants, an MCD Research Associate and Program Director to implement Promoting Equal and Respectful Relationships.

[This was originally given a talk to Telstra staff and Soromptimists entitled 'Preventing violence against women: equal and respectful relationships - it's that simple']