My vicar took a risk last night. He decided that, following our monthly church meal (yesterday was fish and chips), the topic for discussion should be same sex marriage.
In the light of the Pilling Report and the British Government’s decision to legalise gay marriage, he wanted to ensure church members clearly understood the Church of England’s position on the issue. He also wanted to use the church’s monthly gathering over dinner as a safe space where members could share their thoughts, hopes and concerns about the subject.
Church members were first presented with certain facts: by March same sex marriages will be legal in the UK; the Church of England is prohibited by law from conducting same sex weddings or blessings; current Anglican teaching/theology worldwide defines marriage as exclusively between a man and a woman; the Anglican Communion has repeatedly condemned the victimisation of, or violence against, members of the gay community.
We were then read statements on the topic of sexuality and same sex marriage issued by senior bishops in England, Uganda, Kenya and The Episcopal Church; by bishops at the Lambeth Conference; and also excerpts from the Pilling Report. These made it clear that attitudes to same sex marriage differ greatly between Anglicans globally.
There are, for example, some in the Anglican Communion who see same sex marriage as a rights issue—on a par with the civil rights movement in the US. There are others who see same sex relationships as a threat to traditional models of family and community. The reasons for such differing perspectives include an Anglican’s local context, history, culture, age and his/her interpretation of Scripture.
Finally we were reminded that while some Anglican doctrines had not changed over time others—such as remarrying divorced people and the use of contraception—evolved. Our vicar then asked everyone to get into small groups for about 20 minutes to discuss what they had heard.
When we reconvened to provide feedback, one clear desire was that our church should be welcoming and loving to everyone, but in a way that remains faithful to God and His Word. Also, there was a variety of opinions about same sex relationships and marriage, and several people said they felt challenged to seek out more evidence for what they believed. In response, our vicar encouraged everyone to prayerfully revisit scripture to discern God’s heart on the matter.
Perhaps surprisingly there was a desire to continue what was clearly a difficult and emotive dialogue beyond the meeting. No inflexible, unthinking, unquestioning Christians here. Rather people of all ages and backgrounds willing to challenge themselves, to learn, to journey with each other and with God; all in the name of creating a loving community of believers who witness to a saviour who is the Way, the Truth and the Life.