at the request of Healing Ministry Journal

The Revd Richard B Gilbert, DMin., BCC, CPBC

In a sermon heard recently the preacher shared a story reported in the New York Times. A father was trying to come to terms with the meaning of the warring madness that came to New York City, Washington, D.C., the rural countryside in Pennsylvania, and to our whole country. He shared that his young child, challenged to find his way home from school in lower Manhattan said to his father, "Daddy, how will I find my way home without getting lost?" The Daddy said, "Just keep your eyes on the towers, my son, and they will lead you home." After the destruction the boy, frightened perhaps for different reasons than his father, yet precisely for the same reason, said through his tears, "But Daddy, who will keep me from becoming lost, now?"

Lost. That is, in a tremendous way, how this calamity has assaulted this great land and people. Lost is our innocence, albeit naïvely held on to at times, that suggested violence was in lands afar off. Lost is our sense of safety. Many of us don't even lock the doors of our homes at night, and now many are afraid to leave those locked and barricaded homes. Lost is the sense of decency and fair play that we have tried to express as a people and as a nation.

Found is a new sense of anger tearing through the fabric of our lives, our social structures, even our souls, an anger fast burning through the wick to the explosion of rage and revenge. Found is a sense of injustice, the violation that comes to victims, that leaves us feeling so helpless in terms of how to respond to this horror. Helpless. Immobilized.

Found is a renewed sense of loyalty, patriotism and piety that has transcended the boundaries of political parties and the deep divides of apathy and indifference. Our new appreciation for the flag has caused stores to run out of stock. Every day at the hospital someone gives me a new decorative flag to wear on my coat. Baseball and football stadiums have been transformed into rich pageants of patriotism, tears, cheers, music and bedecked officials from the various professions we come to be revere for their heroism. In the Cubs game the other night, Sammy Sosa carried an American flag as he rounded the bases after hitting a home run. Everything has changed. Things lost. Things found. Defeat. Renewal. Destruction. Resurrection.

All of us are searching for meaning. For some there has been a profound spiritual renewal, likened to a conversion experience. For others, the impossibility of this assault creates a sense of impossibility about God. Worship services have been held in Washington Cathedral and Yankee Stadium, and probably, in some form, in every house of worship and in every faith tradition. The London Times reported enormous increases in worship attendance in England, which is quite a departure from their normal patterns for worship.

We are a people hungry for meaning. It is in these times that we are reminded that "Spirituality creates, informs, and deepens many significant experiences." (note 1) Spirituality is about meaning when nothing makes sense, a glimpse at truth when the rude awakening of recent events speaks of lies and deceit. Spirituality is about the barest thread of connection to that which is our transcendence, our meaning, when the fabric of our being and of our nation is shredded, left in the rubble beneath the strong towers that were our symbols. Much to think about and spiritually we will be in this predicament for the long haul. Healing will not come easily, but it will come!

This is a pastoral reflection, not just on the events per se, but on what it means to be a pastor, shepherd or religious leader in this time of national calamity. Since there are so many issues and approaches to explore perhaps it will serve us well to capture the operative words that we all share, in some format or expression, as religious leaders. It is expanded upon in my latest book (note 2) and has been discussed in other places.

1. We are priests. Priests are experts on ritual and rituals are crucial these days. From parading around ballparks with flags to kneeling at the Lord's Table, from writing and journaling to a recent Yom Kippur sermon, we seek rituals that give meaning and also serve as guideposts or points of demarcation along the way.
   
   In Fiddler on the Roof we remember the timid young tailor who rejoices over his new sewing machine. He comes to the rabbi for a blessing. Ritual. Sacramental moment. Giving meaning to an occasion, individually and as community.
   
   Ritual is what we do to connect, to bless, to declare sacred. Often we explore the old to cling to some sense of hope, yet are forced to experiment with what may or may not "work" to meet our desperate needs. Dr. Patrick Del Zoppo, respected thanatologist and liturgist, has had to help one parish facing a potential of dozens of funerals. The families want all of the traditions, including caskets, yet few of those deceased have any recognizable remains. Old traditions, perhaps, new traditions, a real need and possibility.
   
   It is Cardinal Egan, placing himself on the sidewalks outside St. Vincent's Hospital and within its corridors, blessing, praying, listening. It is ministers of all faith traditions offering words of insight, care and comfort that do not insult us with foolish answers that insult our intelligence and our faith.
   
   We interpret the bizarre through the familiar. We turn to the rituals that have served us in the past. Worship. Prayer. Confession. Silence. Study. Counsel. The words and processes vary, but the need is the same. Meaning. Purpose. Hope.
   
   Rituals have been lost in many ways in our country. We seem distant as participants at weddings and funerals, for example, because we don't know how to behave at them (ritually, that is). I was amazed on the National Day of Mourning when we offered a liturgy at the hospital. Because of the schedule pressures that come with a hospital, we hoped for 15-20 people. We had 185! When the soloist began to sing "America the Beautiful," without invitation, the people spontaneously stood up, as Christians, Jews, Muslims and of no persuasion and sang. They joined in prayer, in listening, in reflecting … as community gathered in ritual. For a moment in time there was a connection and there was meaning.
   
   Ritual points to something in the present, and we will need to grab hold of the old traditions while giving voice to the new ones as the stories unfold and new voices require clarification and claiming. Rituals as grounding in past and present.
   
   Rituals also point to the future. There is tomorrow. There is hope. We haven't even begun to grasp the horror and the price tag (personally as well as financially) from these horrors. Now we are a little steadier, more equipped, to anticipate less and experience more what may come in life's tomorrows around these events and the other stories that have become and will become our story.
   
   Take rituals and ritual needs seriously. It is the work of the priest.
2. We are rabbis. While the rabbinic role or job description is evolving, as witnessed by new directions in social action in the Jewish community and new resources on pastoral care and the rabbi, the rabbi traditionally is the teacher. "Rabbi, teacher, what does this mean?"
   
   If ever there was a need for the rabbi within the work all of us, it is now. Teach us how to pray. Comfort us in our sorrows with the assurance that there is a promise of hope and eternity. Teach us how to respond to terrorists, the enemies of our nation, but also of our beliefs and our values. Teach us about forgiveness, trust and hope. Give us a word, Word.
   
   Teach carefully, teach in a way that makes us tend to our own issues and biases so God can truly be the teacher and the word. Teach with care and compassion, mindful of your own needs.
   
   There is no greater time for the role of the rabbi than at this time.
3. We are prophets. The prophetic word is traditionally viewed as bringing us back to our teachings as religious community. We think of the prophets in the Old Testament as God's voices calling us to return (repent) to God and to what God asks of us.
   
   The prophetic role for all of us in ministry, especially at this time, is more than that. We must ask the tough questions about what has happened, what it means to respond effectively, about justice rather than retribution, and how we are to exist in this time with terrorists that bring God's people together under a common umbrella in response to culture, views and beliefs that seem foreign not only to all of us, but to the standards of humanity and decency that is expected of all of us.
   
   None of these roles come easily, but this one is the toughest. We speak in a world with instant access to everything and everyone, but with very crude skills in terms of communication and listening. We can hunt anyone down on the Internet and haven't the skill or interest in effectively reaching out to our neighbor across the street. We isolate ourselves for reasons of fear and a longing for safety and come to distrust every voice and every prophet. We don't know who or what to believe. Why should we trust this voice or that voice, that word or this word?
   
   In addition there is a general suspicion of religious prophets and a national distancing from them. The response to the nationally broadcasted service at Washington Cathedral was powerful. It was Billy Graham who received the standing ovation as a respected prophet in our time. Even for those of us who frequently disagree with him on some theological points, he is trusted and is respected.
   
   It is a difficult age of prophets. It always has been. Now, in this post-Christian era, we live within the religious community that no longer is the lead voice. We are "competing" with many religious voices in a society that also considers other voices to speak about meaning, values and beliefs. Throw in a general suspicion of religion, and we must learn the craft of being a prophet. I cringe when the Falwells and Robertsons of the world speak. Recent comments, even allowing them to believe what they want to believe, came as an immense embarrassment to many of us and caused considerable hurt. It also makes it easier for the world not to listen to any of us when we speak a word from God.
   
   The prophetic role can be the most difficult and the least popular. Who provides the clear prophetic word when people are clamoring for a decisive military win while others are storming (an interesting approach for pacifists) Washington equally intense with their determined position that war is wrong. Can there be communication and compromise, or at least mutual trust? Who will be that prophet? Prophets must listen to many voices, all voices, in a pluralistic society that offers diversity of word and practice that often defy any common ground. Who will be the prophetic voice around financial matters. We have no conceivable price tag for all that has happened. Gifts flood in, but the prophet must both sustain that interest and also remember that many people are taking funds earmarked for other, equally needy concerns, and sending these dollars to New York. Sacrifice will ask more and that is a prophetic message that will lead to many unpopular responses. Who will be the prophetic voice that will help us distinguish between the gifts of diversity and the bias of "different?" Consider the man (I observed) who refused to pay for his gasoline purchase the other day, accusing the attendant, an Indian and a Hindu, of being a "filthy Muslim." How to we both allow and encourage the religious diversity that respects and welcomes the Muslim community while recognizing that the terrorists claim their rights as Muslims while being an affront to what the mainline Muslim community affirms as sacred?
   
   There are lots of words, much of it gibberish. We need authentic prophets and the call may be coming to us!
   
   We are God's prophets. We call people to accountability, to reasonable behavior, and, with bridges built to our many communities and cultures, have a message that both challenges and comforts, that inspires and informs.
   
   It is time for a prophetic word. It is not an easy time for prophets.
   
   
4. We are ministers. When people talk about the various roles and tasks of religious leaders we usually highlight the risks and challenges that accompany the prophetic role. We already alluded to that.
   
   For the challenges of this national crisis there will be none more demanding and more risky than that of the role of the minister. As my current writing unfolds (note 3), accompanied by presentations to clergy who have welcomed this dialog, these are already difficult times for clergy. At a dinner meeting the other day a physician friend, who is Jewish, remarked, "I went to a meeting at a synagogue recently and I couldn't believe the way people would talk to their rabbi." Believe me when I say that this is not a denominational story, but a professional hardship in all traditions.
   
   We minister professionally, but we also minister as people. The feelings emerge from ourselves, not our job descriptions, and we seek to comfort people after the recent horrors while we wander aimlessly seeking someone to comfort ourselves. We hear the endless questions and often do not hear, or take the time to hear, these and other questions that we bear. We are asked to bear profound sorrow when we sometimes feel we can only cry or want to cry but have run out of tears.
   
   To minister is to comfort. It is to bless people as did the ministers of old. "The Lord bless you and keep you." That is the work and gift of ministry to people who want to believe, crave that spiritual nourishment, all while asking (sometimes boldly, sometimes fearfully), "If God is truly a powerful, loving God, why did God allow this to happen?." It feels like the "score" is "Terrorists, 3 (or 6000, depending on what accounting you use), God, 0, with the terrorists fast making this a 'non-contest'."
   
   We must minister, and we minister with, through and occasionally despite our own woundedness, our own grief and our own despair. These dynamics come from the harsh realities of September 11 and also from the day to day realities of the work we call ministry.
   
   

On a spirituality chat line came these prophetic and pastoral words offered in response to the tragic events of September 11. They were given freely and with permission to be shared. I hope you will find them a source of comfort and also a compelling motivation to be about your work as priest, rabbi, prophet and minister. They are the words of Debbie Perlman, psalmist-in-residence, Beth Emet Synagogue, Evanston, Illinois …

Help us to preserve the memory of the fallen, taken not in battle, but in innocence. Comfort us, Holy One, as the images sear, as we try to comprehend the unfathomable.

We have become rescuers sifting the rubble, we are searching for meaning in the whirlwind. No preparation can be made for this disaster. We push aside the debris, looking for answers.

Show us your face and your compassion, you are our Beacon of consolation. Focus your healing light through acrid smoke, clearing a path through our tears.

Begin with us the task of recovery, renew our resolve to pursue righteousness; secure us again in safety and peace, our nation's soul forever changed.

Notes

1. Ramsey, J. Spiritual Intimacy in Later Life: Implications for Clinical Practice, Generations, Summer, 2001, p. 59.
   
   
2. Gilbert, R., editor (2002) Healthcare & Spirituality: Listening, Assessing, Caring. Amityville: Baywood.
   
   
3. Ph.D. dissertation, Healing the Holy Helpers: Healthy Clergy for the Third Millennium, with anticipated publication in 2002.
   
   

Resources

While this is an extensive reference list it is not exhaustive. You are welcome to contact us for additional resource needs, including support services. We can be reached via email at dick.gilbert@shermanhospital.org.

Attig, T. (2000) The Heart of Grief: Death and the Search for Lasting Love. New York: Oxford University Press.
Butler, S. (1999) Caring Ministry: A Contemplative Approach to Patoral Care. New York: Continuum.
Cox, G., R. Bendiksen, R. Stevenson (2002) Complicated Grieving and Bereavement: Understanding and Treating People Experiencing Loss. Amityville: Baywood.
Curley, T. (1996) A Way of the Cross for the Bereaved. Staten Island: Alba House.
Dayringer, R. (1998) The Heart of Pastoral Counseling: Healing through Relationship. Binghamton: Haworth.
Del Zoppo, P. (1996) Mourning: The Journey from Grief to Healing. Staten Island: Alba House.
Deskin, G., G. Steckler (1996) When Nothing Makes Sense: Disasters, Crisis, and Their Effects on Children. Minneapolis: Fairview.
Doka, K.(1989) Disenfranchised Grief: Recognizing Hidden Sorrow. Lexington: Lexington.
Doka, K., ed.(1996) Living with Grief After Sudden Loss. Washington: Hospice Foundation of America.
Faulkner, A. (1998) When the News is Bad: A Guide for Professionals. Cheltenham, UK: Stanley Thornes.
Felber, M. (2000) Finding Your Way after Your Spouse Dies. Notre Dame: Ave Maria.
Figley, C., ed. (1995) Compassion Fatigue: Coping with Secondary Traumatic Stress Disorder in those Who Treat the Traumatized. Philadelphia: Brunner/Mazel.
Figley, c., B. Bride, N. Mazza, ed. (1997) Death and Trauma: The Traumatology of Grieving. Philadelphia: Taylor & Francis.
Friedman, D. Jewish Pastoral Care: A Practical Handbook. Woodstock: Jewish Lights.
Gaber, R., J. Bacon (1999) The Death of Adult Children through the Eyes of Grieving Parents. Kirksville: Kirksville College of Osteopathic Medicine. Gilbert, B. (1998) The Pastoral Care of Depression: A Guidebook. Binghamton: Haworth.
Gilbert, R. (1999) Finding Your Way After Your Parent Dies: Hope for Grieving Adults. Notre Dame: Ave Maria.
Gilbert, R. (2002) Healthcare & Spirituality: Listening, Assessing, Caring. Amityville: Baywood.
Golden, T. (1996) Swallowed by a Snake; The Gift of the Masculine Side of Healing. Kensington: Golden Healing.
Gordon, N., N. Farberow, C. Maida, ed. (1999) Children & Disasters. Philadelphia: Brunner/Mazel.
Grollman, E. (1995) Living When a Loved One Has Died. Boston: Beacon. Grollman, E. (2000) Living with Loss, Healing with Hope: A Jewish Perspective. Boston: Beacon.
Harvey, J. (2000) Give Sorrow Words: Perspectives on Loss and Trauma. Philadelphia: Brunner/Mazel.
Harvey, J. and E. Miller (2000) Loss and Trauma: General and Close Relationship Perspectives. Philadelphia: Brunner-Routledge.
Hover, M.(1993) Caring for Yourself When caring for Others. Mystic: Twenty-Third.
Irish, D., K. Lundquist, V. Nelsen. (1993) Ethnic Variations in Dying, Death, and Grief. Philadelphia: Taylor & Francis.
Klass, D., P. Silverman, S. Nickman. (1996) Continuing Bonds: New Understandings of Grief. Philadelphia: Taylor & Francis. Lester, A. (1985) Pastoral Care with Children in Crisis. Philadelphia: Westminster.
Lewis, G. (1994) Critical Incident Stress and Trauma in the Workplace. Philadelphia: Accelerated Development.
Matlins, S. (2000) The Perfect Stranger's Guide to Funerals and Grieving Practices: A Guide to Etiquette in Other People's Religious Ceremonies. Woodstock: Skylight Paths.
Matsakis, A. (1998) Trust after Trauma: A Guide to Relationships for Survivors and Those Who Love Them. Oakland: New Harbinger.
Miles, J. (1999) The Pastor as Moral Guide. Minneapolis: Fortress. Miller, J. (1998) Effective Support Groups. Fort Wayne: Willowgreen. Miller, J. (2000) When Mourning Dawns: Living Your Way Fully Through The Seasons of Your Grief. Fort Wayne: Willowgreen.
Morgan, J., ed. (1997) Readings in Thanatology. Amityville: Baywood. Oates, W. (1987) Behind the Masks: Personality Disorders in Religious Behavior. Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press.
Oates, W. (1997) Grief, Transition, and Loss: A Pastor's Practical Guide. Minneapolis: Fortress.
Oates, W. (1970) When Religion Gets Sick. Philadelphia: Westminster. O'Brien, M. (2000) Lift Up Your Hearts: Meditations for Those who Mourn. Chicago: ACTA.
Parkinson, F. (1993) Post-Trauma Stress. London: SPCK.
Pederson, P., J. Draguns, W. Lonner, J. Trimble, ed. (1996) Counseling Across Cultures. Thousand Oaks: SAGE.
Rando, T. (1993) Treatment of Complicated Mourning. Champaign: Research. Schoeneck, T. (1995) Hope for the Bereaved. Syracuse: Hope for the Bereaved.
Smith, H. (1996) Grieving the Death of a Friend. Minneapolis: Augsburg.
Stamm, B. H., ed. (1995) Secondary Traumatic Stress: Self-Care Issues for Clinicians, Researchers & Educators. Lutherville: Sidran.
Walmsley, R., A. Lummis.(1997) Healthy Clergy Wounded Healers: Their Families and Their Ministries. New York: Church Publishing.

30 September 2001

A gift of the ministries of The World Pastoral Care Center and The Department of Chaplaincy Services, Sherman Health Systems, Elgin, IL.